1. NAMES
>
>
>If Laurie, Linda, Joan and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call
>each other Laurie, Linda, Joan and Barbara.
>If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to
>each
>other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
>
>2. EATING OUT
>
>When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in $20,
>even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller
>and none will actually admit they want change back.
>When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
>
>3. MONEY
>
>A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
>A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
>
>4. BATHROOMS
>
>A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor,
>a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
>The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
>would not be able to identify most of these items.
>
>5. ARGUMENTS
>
>A woman has the last word in any argument.
>Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
>
>6. CATS
>
>Women love cats.
>Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
>
>7. FUTURE
>
>A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
>A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
>
>8. SUCCESS
>
>A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend
>A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
>
>9. MARRIAGE
>
>A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
>A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
>
>10. DRESSING UP
>
>A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
>garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
>A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
>
>11. NATURAL
>
>Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
>Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
>
>12. OFFSPRING
>
>Ah, children.
>A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist
>appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and
>hopes and dreams.
>A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
>
>13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
>
>Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
>remembering the same thing.