your mother is so big, she rollerskates on busses.
your mother is so big, she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back
your mother is so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts
your mother is so fat, her driver's license
says "Picture continued on other side."
your mother is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people call her "Taxi!"
your mother is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her
your mother is so old, she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.
your mother is so stupid, at bottom of application where it says Sign Here - she put Sagittarius
your mother is so stupid, if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
your mother is so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's
your mother is so ugly, her shadow quit.
your mother is so ugly, just after she was born, her mama said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."