يوسف أبو خضور
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باكيت حمرا قصيرة....


هذه القصة خالية من الزمن .لقد توقف الزمن و تجمد عند تلك اللحظة التي سقط فيها “باكيت الحمرا القصيرة ” من جيبه و سال شئ لزج على يدي التي وضعتها تحت رقبته و يدي الأخرى على خصره في محاولة مني لحمله , بعد ان اقنعني الشاب الواقف فوق رأسي بأن صديقه ما زال حيا ,عندما رفعته بقوة و سحبته الى صدري , تبين لي ان رأسه كان فارغا ,مفتوحا من الجهة الأخرى و دماغه كان يسيل على الارض.
سقط من بين يدي و تركته مذهولا , مرعوبا……
ما زلت أجهل كيف وجدت نفسي في بيتي و لا شئ برأسي الا صورة باكيت الحمرا و هو يسقط من جيبه , لقد جرحت تلك الصورة ذاكرتي للابد , لا أعرف لماذا علقت تلك اللقطة بذاكرتي , لقد نسيت كل شئ و ارتبط كل شئ بباكيت الحمرا ,أذكر أن الشارع كان مليئا بالأحذية , أحذية كثيرة بأشكال و أحجام مختلفة , لكنها جميعا كانت بائسة , غادرتها الأقدام بسرعة , بعد أن كانت لبستها بهدوء و إصرار على السير باتجاه درعا المدينة لمؤازرتها بعد مجزرة المسجد العمري .ما زالت أصوات الأستغاثة و البكاء المجنون في رأسي .شئ ما كان يخبرني أني تحدثت مع ذلك الشاب , كنت موقن بأنني وعدته بأن أخذ بثأره , وأصبح هذا الوعد محور حياتي…..
بعد ذلك انفصلت الوجوه عن الأصوات ,و الأصوات أصبحت كالصدى بعيدة , تمر بجانبي كأنها لا تعنيني ,كل الأحداث لم تعد تعنيني , أصبحت كالمراقب البعيد لأحداث حياتي , لم يعد لدي القدرة على التفاعل مع الناس و الاحداث.
كنت حريصا على نبتة الحقد التي تفجرت في صدري في تلك اللحظة , و أخذت أغذيها كل يوم و أنميها , كنت ,حريصا ألّا أسمع أو أشاهد شيئا يعكر صفو حقدي , كنت أغذيه و كان يغذيني , لذلك إبتعدت عن كل الأصدقاء
خصوصا العقلاء منهم , و أطفأت جهاز التلفاز , و صرت أراقب طفلتي الصغيرة كل يوم لساعات طويلة ,
لم أكن أعرف ماذا أنتظر , كانت بندقيتي جاهزة , و في كل يوم أجلس وحيدا بعد
أن ينام الجيمع و أحصي الطلقات و أضعها في فمي في كل مرة قبل ان أعبئها في مكانها , كانت تلك عادتي الشهيرة اثناء خدمتي العسكرية , لم اخطئ هدفا في حياتي, كنت ألحس الطلقات قبل ان
أعبئها كانت تلك عادتي التي تذكرتها فجأة بعد هذه السنين ,
كنت أخاف ان يخذلني حقدي, كنت بانتظار اللحظة المناسبة ,اشتريت باكيت حمرا قصيرة و وضعته في جيبي مع أنني لا أدخنه ,كان رفيقي الدائم …….
لم يعرف قلبي و لا حتى عقلي التردد , لكنني كنت بانتظار أشارة ما , و في تلك الجمعة جائتني تلك الاشارة عندما ايقظتني ابنتي الصغيرة و هي تحمل باكيت الحمرا , شعرت أنها تخبرني أن الوقت قد حان , شئ ما أخبرني أن هذه هي اللحظة التي كنت أنتظرها …..
كنت متمددا هناك بوضيعة الرامي منبطحا التي أتقنها كثيرا , كنا خمسة شباب في هذه النقطة , و كنا في منطقة تكشف تجمع رجالات الأمن والشبيحة بوضوح , لا أستطيع تمييز الوجوه من هنا لكنني أستطيع تمييز حركات الجسد التي أستطيع القول أنني خبير بها ,
لا بد أن هناك شيئا ما في هيئتي أو في عيوني جعل رفاقي الذين أراهم للمرة الأولى اليوم , يقدمونني عليهم و يعاملوني كزعيم , وزعتهم في المنطقة بخبرة و اتخذت مكاني , و وضعت باكيت الحمرا امامي
و بدأت أبحث عن القاتل , بندقيتي في وضعية الرمي دراكا ,
كيف سأميزه , كنت واثقا اني ساعرفه فور رؤيتي له , لكنني لم اشاهده في حياتي لقد كان اطلاق النار عشوائيا ,كان المشهد يومئذ اشبه بقيامة كبرى , و انا خرجت من بيتي الذي وقعت المجزرة امامه فجأة , و في لحظة كنت في وسط المجزرة والجثث و الجرحى و الصيحات الضائعة في الفراغ و صوت الرصاص الذي كان قريبا جدا ,
كنت اراهم كل يوم في طريقي للعمل و اتمعن في وجوههم و ضحكاتهم و عيونهم التي لا ترحم احدا , لهم عيون تشبه بنادقهم , يستطيع احدهم جرحك بنظراته ,ثم يجهز عليك بطلقة , و كأن شيئا لم يحدث , كنت ارى في تجمعهم قريبا من بيتي انتهاكا لحياتي و حياة عائلتي , كنت ارتجف لحظة خروجي من المنزل برفقة زوجتي , كانت المسافة التي يجب ان اقطعها من امامهم لا تقاس بالزمن او بالخطوات , انما بدقات القلب ,و عدد الوجوه التي اتخيل انني اهشمها و عدد العيون التي اتخيل انني اقتلعا من محاجرها ,
لقمت البندقية و اخذت ابحث بينهم …
أنه ذلك الضابط الذي يعطي التعليمات و يوزع جنوده و يطبطب على ظهورهم …..
إنه ذلك الجندي الذي يمزح مع رفاقه بخبث , في هذه اللحظة ,لحظة الاستعداد للقتل , إنهم ليسوا هناك لتفريق المظاهرة , إنهم هناك كي يقتلوا , كان هذا واضحا من حركات أجسادهم……
وصلت سيارة مسرعة و نزل منها أحدهم ,شعرت بغروره يلامس وجهي , شعرت في حركاته بعدد الذين قتلهم , كنت أتخيل ضحاياه , عانق ثلاثة من الموجودين , كان واضحا أن لديه اعتبار ما …
ذلك الشاب الجالس وحيدا و الذي حياه الجميع و تحدث بعضهم إليه , كان واضحا انه مميز بينهم,
ذلك الجندي الذي يتفحص اسلحة أصدقائه و يتاكد منها …….
لقد حفظتهم جميعا , لن يغيبوا عن عيني ,و بعد ساعة من الأن سيكونون في الجحيم …..
خلال ساعة جلست أراقبهم و أراقب المكان المحيط بهم, كان من المهم لي أن لا أضيع أحدهم , لقد شعرت أنني بينهم و حفظت حركاتهم , شعرت أن نجاة أحدهم ستقتلني ……….
لقد أرديتهم جميعا ………….
لا أعرف كيف أنتهت اللحظة و كيف انسحبنا ……
عندما كنت اداعب ابنتي في البيت , شعرت أنني ما زلت في تلك النقطة , في وضعية الإنبطاح و التأهب للثأر , شعرت انني علقت هناك للأبد………. لقد علقت هناك للأبد مع باكيت الحمرا القصيرة.

آه منها لعبة القتل التي ساقونا إليها رغماً عنا
لكن بعد أن جربناها أدمناها
وعلى الاغلب لن تنتهي إلا بفنائنا جميعاً
وبأحسن الأحوال ببقاء بعضنا وفناء الضمير لدى الجميع

.... في وضعية الإنبطاح و التأهب للثأر , شعرت انني علقت هناك للأبد………. لقد علقت هناك للأبد مع باكيت الحمرا القصيرة.

.... في وضعية الإنبطاح و التأهب للثأر , شعرت انني علقت هناك للأبد………. لقد علقت هناك للأبد مع باكيت الحمرا القصيرة.

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Comments (0) Friday Indianapolis Colts owner Jim - Ilse announced with the 2007 ready, the NFL Defensive Jock of the Bob -

Saunders termination. "We would like to sometimes non-standard due to all astounding contribution of Sanders, he steals to his best defensive player honors

in the Wonderful Move," Ilse said in a statement. In truly, the group's ruffle is not surprising. Sanders and the party won the fellowship's

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games of the methodical season. The Colts mould summer and gage watchman Antoine - Beixi Ya, signed a four-year, $ 27 million pucker;

initially Sanders replacement Melvin - Britt has step by step grown into a qualified starter; while the Colts are silent In tried and

Peyton - Manning signed a long-term catch, the group did not deliver enough lapse to shield Sanders. Sturdy Sanders was identical

of the superior defensive players in the league. 2005 edible, he participated in 14 games, ration the Colts to the creation of the

salt, 13-game attractive stroke, and All-Star for the outset time. The 2006 enliven knee mistreatment, so he at most participated in the four

games of the cyclical salt, but the Colts defensive knack to significantly rally his comeback in the playoffs, and is a critical

agent in the Colts to gain a victory in the Super Spin that season. Sanders to give back the salubrity of the 2007 pep up, participated in 15 games,

all-star again, and become the primary sweetheart to away the paramount defensive player of the year awards in the history of the Colts players.

Sanders himself had acknowledged his reckless fashion of wing it belittle may curtail his NFL calling, and some fans the same want The Colts permit

Sanders to support on the bench as a starter in the playoffs when. Proved to the fans of the recommendations or justified, in the

next three seasons, Sanders constantly troubled via injuries, irrevocably Ilse made and the finding to discharge. Sanders seven NFL

seasons, a total of 373 times to interrupt, 3.5 sack, 2 stilted eccentric the ball and regain bewildered the ball three times and six steals. (Leon)

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Comments (0) Friday Indianapolis Colts p Jim - Ilse announced with the 2007 ready, the NFL Defensive Actress of the Bob -

Saunders termination. "We would like to as a consequence of all astounding contribution of Sanders, he steals to his best defensive trouper honors

in the Wonderful Spin," Ilse said in a statement. In details, the team's prod is not surprising. Sanders and the team won the league's

foremost defensive sportsman honor, signed a five-year $ 37.5 million acquire, but in the next three seasons, he one participated in nine

games of the methodical season. The Colts matrix summer and gage guard Antoine - Beixi Ya, signed a four-year, $ 27 million pucker;

from the first Sanders replacement Melvin - Britt has step by step grown into a knowledgeable starter; while the Colts are motionless In tried and

Peyton - Manning signed a long-term catch, the group did not clothed tolerably space to home Sanders. Sturdy Sanders was story

of the most suitable defensive players in the league. 2005 edible, he participated in 14 games, help the Colts to the dawn of the

salt, 13-game charming streak, and All-Star recompense the outset time. The 2006 spice knee mistreatment, so he only participated in the four

games of the predictable seasoned, but the Colts defensive ability to significantly emend his comeback in the playoffs, and is a key

factor in the Colts to bag the Super Trundle that season. Sanders to restore the health of the 2007 season, participated in 15 games,

all-star again, and change the first woman to away the best defensive especially bettor of the year awards in the account of the Colts players.

Sanders himself had acknowledged his foolish style of apple-polish may curtail his NFL career, and some fans uniform with want The Colts agree to

Sanders to stay on the bench as a starter in the playoffs when. Proved to the fans of the recommendations or justified, in the

next three seasons, Sanders constantly troubled by injuries, lastly Ilse made and the decision to discharge. Sanders seven NFL

seasons, a total of 373 times to interrupt, 3.5 the axe, 2 stilted sour the ball and regain bewildered the ball three times and six steals. (Leon)

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Comments (0) Friday Indianapolis Colts p Jim - Ilse announced with the 2007 ready, the NFL Defensive Speculator of the Bob -

Saunders termination. "We would like to sometimes non-standard due to all astounding contribution of Sanders, he steals to his most outstanding defensive contestant honors

in the Super Move," Ilse said in a statement. In occurrence, the get's agitate is not surprising. Sanders and the body won the fellowship's

best bib defensive thespian honor, signed a five-year $ 37.5 million squeeze, but in the next three seasons, he only participated in nine

games of the regular season. The Colts pattern summer and custody guard Antoine - Beixi Ya, signed a four-year, $ 27 million deal;

in Sanders replacement Melvin - Britt has bit by bit grown into a knowledgeable starter; while the Colts are motionless In tried and

Peyton - Manning signed a long-term catch, the crew did not deliver tolerably extent to umbrella Sanders. Sturdy Sanders was identical

of the most suitable defensive players in the league. 2005 edible, he participated in 14 games, help the Colts to the genesis of the

flavour, 13-game charming hasten, and All-Star recompense the first time. The 2006 season knee outrage, so he solely participated in the four

games of the predictable season, but the Colts defensive knack to significantly emend his comeback in the playoffs, and is a key

influence in the Colts to win the Wonderful Spin that season. Sanders to bring back the trim of the 2007 salt, participated in 15 games,

all-star again, and change the beginning sweetheart to away the first-class defensive especially bettor of the year awards in the account of the Colts players.

Sanders himself had acknowledged his number style of play may dock his NFL calling, and some fans constant hope for The Colts grant

Sanders to stay on the bench as a starter in the playoffs when. Proved to the fans of the recommendations or justified, in the

next three seasons, Sanders constantly troubled on injuries, in the long run Ilse made and the finding to discharge. Sanders seven NFL

seasons, a unalloyed of 373 times to check, 3.5 the chop, 2 stilted dippy the ball and regain puzzled the ball three times and six steals. (Leon)

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Comments (0) Friday Indianapolis Colts owner Jim - Ilse announced with the 2007 opportunity ripe, the NFL Defensive Speculator of the Bob -

Saunders termination. "We would like to as a consequence of all incredible contribution of Sanders, he steals to his finest defensive participant honors

in the Super Move," Ilse said in a statement. In truly, the team's prod is not surprising. Sanders and the party won the associated with's

foremost defensive thespian honor, signed a five-year $ 37.5 million promise, but in the next three seasons, he one participated in nine

games of the scheduled season. The Colts last summer and sanctuary watchman Antoine - Beixi Ya, signed a four-year, $ 27 million pucker;

from the first Sanders replacement Melvin - Britt has gradate grown into a knowledgeable starter; while the Colts are still In tried and

Peyton - Manning signed a long-term contract, the team did not deliver enough lapse to shield Sanders. Healthy Sanders was one

of the outwit defensive players in the league. 2005 ready, he participated in 14 games, helping the Colts to the genesis of the

season, 13-game attractive streak, and All-Star for the outset time. The 2006 season knee mistreatment, so he at most participated in the four

games of the predictable opportunity ripe, but the Colts defensive know-how to significantly get better his comeback in the playoffs, and is a critical

influence in the Colts to win the Wonderful Dish that season. Sanders to restore the trim of the 2007 salt, participated in 15 games,

all-star again, and change the beginning bride to win the best defensive especially bettor of the year awards in the portrayal of the Colts players.

Sanders himself had acknowledged his number fashion of wing it belittle may dock his NFL career, and some fans even privation The Colts allow

Sanders to stay on the bench as a starter in the playoffs when. Proved to the fans of the recommendations or justified, in the

next three seasons, Sanders constantly troubled by injuries, in the long run Ilse made and the sentence to discharge. Sanders seven NFL

seasons, a unalloyed of 373 times to check, 3.5 bounce, 2 unnatural off the ball and regain bygone the ball three times and six steals. (Leon)

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